GEOFF: I can’t think of a place I want to talk to human beings less than at the gym. -Yeah.
-You know what I mean? I fucking had that . . . yesterday? MICHAEL: And right when I moved into my house, they have, like, some amenities, like they have a pool and they have a little gym center that you can use and stuff. Before I signed up for, like, a 24-hour gym, I went to that gym, and I met a guy there who was, like, a super nice guy, but, one of–one of like, the, like, older people? Guy was probably in his late fifties, early sixties, and just loves to fucking talk.
GEOFF: Mmmm hmm.
MICHAEL: It’s like, I’m just at the fucking gym, dude. And he’s like going on and on and on. He’s doing like some kind of like tai chi or something like that, It was like, “Oh, that’s cool, yeah,” and he just would not stop telling me about it and, like, telling me how to do it. Like leading into the thing where I’m like, “okay,” I’m trying to go over to the machine, he’s like, GAVIN: People just talk to you.
MICHAEL: He’s like, “Hit me! Hit me–hit me in the stomach!” “Do it! Just hit me!” And I was like, “Nah I’m good, y’know I don’t want to punch someone–” GAVIN: You don’t want to punch an old man!
MICHAEL:”–someone I just met,” and he’s like: “DO IT. DO IT.” “DO IT!” And I was like, *sigh* (weak punching sounds) “All right, cool, yeah,” Like, it was a really nice guy, but I was just, like, I was in there to work out and then leave. That was a couple months ago. Fucking saw that guy at the gym yesterday, and I was like “OH MY GOD NO!” He was doing it to someone else, except this guy was ALL ABOUT IT! MICHAEL: I’m 90 percent–
GAVIN: Just like punching him over and over again! MICHAEL: I’m 90 percent certain the conversation ended with, that guy was asking him if he could hire him to give him lessons for like, for like taekwondo or whatnot.
GEOFF: You know, you know what the, the grim reality of that situation is, right?
MICHAEL: What is that? GEOFF: That guy’s wife probably died of cancer, like, last year, and that’s the only human interaction he gets, is at the gym. Gym and the grocery store.
MICHAEL: Could be! But it’s not my sad reality! It’s his! RYAN: He might also be trying to start a fight club. GEOFF: That’s also possible.